The Allender Center Podcast

Continuing to talk about the impact of the pandemic on relationships, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen invite Dr. Steve Call into a conversation about the impact of covid-19 on marriage. We do not approach this topic lightly—we know there is much heartache and brokenness in many homes. Marriage itself is full of complexity and possibility. We hope you hear encouragement, vulnerability, and playfulness as Steve invites us to hear how tension and conflict is created, how increased exposure can lead to shame, and the beauty couples can offer one another when they remind each other what is true. 

Resources:

Read Steve’s book, reconnect: insights and tools for cultivating meaningful connection in your marriage

Direct download: TAC287-FamilyRelationships2-v1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

“There are broken parts in every one of us that need a good parent.” Dr. Dan Allender 

Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender have a conversation with Meredith Dancause—a pastor, writer, and parenting expert—about the complexity of being a parent during a pandemic. Not only parenting young children, but how to be a good parent to ourselves. With both humor and honesty, Meredith speaks to positive discipline and grace, the unique opportunity this season affords us, and the need to pause and be curious about our children’s behavior. 

Resources:

Read a blog post “Good Enough Parenting in a Time of Crisis” by Jay Stringer

Direct download: TAC286-FamilyRelationships1-v1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:44am PDT

In this episode of the podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen talk with Heather Stringer about her creative process of stepping into a moment in someone’s story in order to create a ritual. Heather invites us to pause, gather a few items, and participate in a special ritual to account for the past few days and to ask: How do I need to move toward myself during this time?

Resources:

Visit Heather Stringer’s website to learn more about her practice of ritual-making.

Direct download: TAC285-RitualsAndRoutine2-EDIT1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen invite Heather Stringer, a facilitator at The Allender Center, therapist, and ritual-maker, to begin a conversation about the importance of ritual and routine in a season of traumatic disruption. What does the loss of our previously held routines mean for each of us, and how can creating rituals become life-giving during this time?

Resources:

Watch a presentation Heather gave at The Seattle School titled “Breaking Frozen Seas: How Rituals of the Body Transform Clients and Communities”

Direct download: TAC284-RitualsAndRoutine1-EDIT2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:06pm PDT

In their final conversation, Dr. Dan Allender, Diane Summers, RDN, CEDRD-S, CD, and Matt Tiemeyer, LHMC, explore ways we can heal our relationship with food and our bodies. No matter where we are in our journey with food or disordered eating, it is never too late to “turn back to kindness.”

Resources:

Read more about Elly Satter’s division of responsibility in feeding.

Direct download: TAC283_FoodBody3-EDIT2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:53pm PDT

“We are all too willing to turn over our awareness around our bodies to something outside of ourselves, whether its praise or shame of some kind.”

Picking up their conversation from the first episode, Dr. Dan Allender, Diane Summers,RDN, CEDRD-S, CD, and Matt Tiemeyer, LMHC, continue talking about the connection between desire, shame, and food. Not only are we at war with food, we are also at war with shame in regards to our relationship with our bodies and how we relate to the people around us. 

Resources:

Read more about NEDA’s The Marginalized Voices Project

Direct download: TAC282_FoodBody2-EDIT3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:22am PDT

“Why are we at war with food?”

Dr. Dan Allender hosts two guests, Matt Tiemeyer, LMHC, and Diane Summers, RDN, CEDRD-S, CD , to begin a three-part conversation about the war many of us wage against food and our bodies. In this strange space we find ourselves, food and how we nourish our bodies can become a way of gaining control, particularly for those with stories of harm. Throughout their conversation, you’ll hear how Matt and Diane entered the world of eating disorder treatment, the impact of our trauma stories on our relationship with food, and the insidious influence of diet culture.

Resources:

Read an interview with Matt, Diane, and their friend Kate about Redeeming Food & Body

Direct download: TAC281_FoodBody1-EDIT1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:11pm PDT

Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender have a poignant conversation about making space for the tension and grief of Holy Saturday. In the protestant Christian tradition, the movement from Good Friday to Easter Sunday often bypasses Saturday—the day Jesus “spent time before the face of evil itself.”  How then do we engage the reality of Holy Saturday, to sit well in the space between the despair of Friday and the joy of Sunday?

Resources:

Direct download: TAC280_Holy_Saturday.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

We find ourselves in the midst of a collective trauma that both exposes, overwhelms, and compounds past traumas. In this new reality, as we come upon the end of the Lenten season, “how do we live as though the resurrection is more true than death?” Rachael Clinton Chen offers words of grounding and hope as she invites us into a different kind of preparation for Holy Week.

Resources:

Listen to voices from the Asian American Christian Collaborative

Direct download: TAC279_Holy_Week.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

Do I believe God is still good even in the midst of profound suffering I don’t understand?”

 

Our world continues to change in monumental ways. In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender engage the implications and anxieties brought about by Covid-19, but also turn our attention to the goodness, power, and protection of God. 

Resources:

Direct download: TAC278_COVID3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:00pm PDT

In their final conversation about authority, Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender return to complex waters to discuss mutual submission, what good authority looks like, and what it means for us to submit to those in authority. 

Oftentimes words like submission are difficult to hear because they have been misused by those in positions of authority. So, how do we reclaim similar words and phrases, especially those found in scripture, that have been so often used to create chaos? 

Resources:

  • Listen to the first two episodes in this series on Authority

Remembering the context of Dan and Rachael’s conversation, read Romans 13

Direct download: TAC277_Authority3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:30am PDT

What does it mean to be a Christian in a moment like this? How then, shall we live? 

Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender continue to talk about the impact of Covid-19 and the rapid ways our world continues to change, even in the few days following our first episode. Throughout their conversation you’ll hear words of hope, encouragement, and some practical ways to help us connect with our bodies and engage the realities of trauma. 

“Can we honor that we’re all in trauma, as a nation, as a family, as an individual, and can we begin to bring knowledge about trauma to our friendships and conversations?” Dr. Dan Allender

Resources:

Listen to a conversation with Dr. Dan Allender about Trauma and the Body

Direct download: TAC277b_COVID2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:35pm PDT

In light of recent, world-altering events, Dan and Rachael sat down to check in with each other and have an honest conversation about the impact of COVID-19. A global pandemic cannot help but bring issues of trauma to the surface. Though we are not trying to resolve all that is unfolding in your own circumstances, we do want to be present and offer encouragement in the midst of these uncertain times. 

Resources: 

Direct download: TAC276b_COVID1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PDT

Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender continue their conversation about authority, this week diving into who we’re meant to trust and submit to in a healthy, biblical way that leads to our flourishing. 

To begin the episode, Dan reads from Romans 13, a passage often referenced in conjunction with the topic of authority. Both Rachael and Dan acknowledge they are in complex waters and that the words “submission” and “obedience” can be triggering for many listeners due to the misuse and violence done by those in positions of authority. 

What authority, then, are we to submit to? The phrase Paul uses implies a “quality superior,” not all authority, Dan notes, but someone who bears a kind of qualitative goodness—a likeness to the goodness of God. Jesus authorizes others for the sake of addressing the brokenness in the world, extending a sense of empowerment, dignity, and call to life. People who are authorized by God typically do not have to tell others they have authority, Rachael says, as it is gained through respect, participation, service, and honor. 

The series will conclude next week as Dan and Rachael will address the questions: What is submission, what does it mean to interact with those in authority? 

 

Listener Resources:

If you are interested in learning more about the topics mentioned in this podcast:

Direct download: TAC276_Authority2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender dive into a three-part series that wrestles with complex questions about authority. In a culture that grows increasingly divisive, this is a topic not without its own divisions. Throughout this episode, you’ll hear Rachael and Dan raise poignant questions and grapple with the implications of trust and mistrust of authority. 

The conversation opens by acknowledging we are living in a hyper-polarized world where there are deep levels of trust and mistrust in many realms. We need to be able to recognize the difference between suspicion and discernment and to know when suspicion is appropriate and when it is damaging and dismantling. 

How then do we find balance as we ask questions of authority so that we do not surrender blindly and accept the status quo when there is a need for change, but do not become so hardened that we only mistrust and question those in authority?

 

Listener resources:

If you are interested in learning more about the topics mentioned in this podcast:

Direct download: TAC275_Authority1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

In this episode, Rachael and Dan continue a series about attachment; how our earliest relationships impact who we come to be. Throughout their conversation, you’ll hear attributes of secure attachment, how our brains are wired for attachment, and the three categories of insecure attachment and how they affect our styles of relating.

Direct download: TAC273_StyleOfRelating3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

In this episode, Rachael and Dan continue a series about attachment; how our earliest relationships impact who we come to be. Throughout their conversation you’ll hear attributes of secure attachment, how our brains are wired for attachment, and the three categories of insecure attachment and how they affect our styles of relating.

Direct download: TAC273_StyleOfRelating2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm PDT

Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender begin a series about attachment and our individual styles of relating and how they can be, as Dan describes, a “kind of gravity” that shapes how we affect other people. We are not static beings, yet who we are and how we relate to others is deeply impacted by the beauty and brokenness of our upbringings.

Direct download: TAC272_StyleOfRelating1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

Revisiting an insightful conversation between Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call, a therapist and Affiliate Faculty member at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, about how unaddressed hurt and shame can harm meaningful connections in marriage and practical tools to help rebuild connection where it has been lost.

Direct download: TAC271_Bonus-MarriageReconnection2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:06pm PDT

Rachael Clinton Chen leads an open and honest conversation with Cathy Loerzel and Christy Bauman about what they wish other women knew about women’s sexuality.

Direct download: TAC270_Womens_Sexuality-2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm PDT

Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen are joined by guests Cathy Loerzel and Christy Bauman to have a vulnerable discussion about what women wish men knew about women’s sexuality.

Direct download: TAC267_Womens_Sexuality-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

Podcast co-hosts Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen continue a conversation about transitions, in particular what it means to transition well. Both offer valuable insights and wisdom regarding successful transitions and highlight the importance of find

Direct download: TAC268_Time_Of_Transition_2-revision.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:50pm PDT

Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton share an exciting announcement about the future of The Allender Center podcast and talk about how transitions, whether chosen or unchosen, create both danger and deep opportunity.

Direct download: TAC267_Time_Of_Transition_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

Continuing a conversation about entering a new year, Dan and Becky Allender talk openly about their experiences with anxiety and worry and the tendency many of us have to let worry overtake our anticipation of the future.

Direct download: Worry.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

As we enter a new year, Dan and Becky Allender address the issue of regret, and how so often our regret inhibits us from reflecting on the past.

Direct download: TAC266_Regret.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT