The Allender Center Podcast

This week, Dan is joined by his wife, Becky as they reflect back on the significant events of their year. Dan and Becky discuss how to move from the end of the year to anticipate the year ahead. They invite us to adopt the simple, intentional practice of taking time to look back on the year and taking note of events and themes. This sets us up to to live into what and where we are called in the next season.

Direct download: TAC163_Ending_the_Year_with_Intention.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan continues with the third part of our Advent series as he explores the ways in which the Christmas story unfolds in the midst of shame and disruption. He explores passages about the Holy Family, the Shepherds, and King Herod, and discusses the interplay between God’s sovereignty and the schemes of evil. What parts of our heart need to be captured and disrupted by honor of the coming of God on earth?

Direct download: TAC161_Advent_Part_Three_Deeper_Levels_of_Disruption.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan continues the Advent series. He asks listeners to consider how or when this holiday season has made them dazed or confused. He explores the ways in which Mary, Zechariah, and Joseph were each dazed and confused, and how each responded differently. The question we are left with is this: How we are allowing our own lives to be impacted by the invasion of Christ coming to earth. Have we been brought to the point of needing to wrestle with the presence of God in our lives?

Direct download: TAC160_Advent_Part_Two_Dazed_and_Confused.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan begins an Advent series. He outlines the many facets of the Christmas season, reviewing a study by the American Psychological Association about the conflict the season brings. He then discusses the places where we get held up by many distractions, believing our war is against culture and the way Christmas is celebrated. He invites us to instead recognize that Christ’s coming to earth was an invasion — the signaling of a war against darkness, in which we are invited to participate.

Direct download: TAC159_Advent_Part_1_Conflict_around_Christmas.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan is joined by a longtime friend, Cary Umhau. Cary is the author of Burning Down the Fireproof Hotel, and her work has focused around connecting communities. In sharing her own story, she encourages listeners to remember the importance of seeing another and being seen by another. In this season of thanksgiving, Cary and Dan also discuss practical ways we can all give to those around us. They invite listeners to learn more about an initiative called Breadcoin.

Happy Thanksgiving from The Allender Center. We are privileged to be a part of this work and are so grateful for our listeners, each and every one of you!

Direct download: TAC158_Opening_Up_to_Receive_and_Give.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan, along with friends and colleagues — Susan Kim, Abby Wong-Heffter, and Wendell Moss — conclude their conversation around race and trauma. Susan, Abby, and Wendell take time to discuss the obstacles and the cost they have faced in stepping into honest conversation around race. The four together name the ways in which The Allender Center is only beginning to step into this conversation and their desires for the future.

Direct download: TAC157_Race_and_Trauma_Part_Three.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan, Susan, Abby, and Wendell continue their conversation around race and trauma. The three guests provide details of their stories, revealing ways in which they have been dismissed or threatened by the majority around them. They go on to review the ways in which the often well-meaning believing community has hurt them through words and assumptions.

Direct download: TAC156_Race_and_Trauma_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan is joined by three friends: Wendell Moss, Susan Kim, and Abby Wong-Heffter. Together, they begin a conversation around race and trauma, inviting listeners to engage as learners. The episode includes an honest conversation about race in light of the Allender Center’s history. Finally, the four address a few of the common myths around racial trauma.

Direct download: TAC155_Race_and_Trauma_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan concludes his series on dealing with difficult people. He turns to the text of Romans 12 as he explores the ways in which forgiveness can be a means to love and reconciliation. He explains that to offer forgiveness is to offer the gift of strength and kindness that cannot be dismissed by the other.

Direct download: TAC154_Dealing_with_Difficult_People_Part_Three.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan continues his series on dealing with difficult people. He provides three questions to consider about the nature of these relationships. He then explains that your ability to know your yes from your no, your willingness to address confrontation, and your readiness for reconciliation are all central to working within and out of these relationships.

Direct download: TAC153_Dealing_with_Difficult_People_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan begins a series on the subject of dealing with difficult people. He first outlines the four major categories of difficult people in our lives. He then reviews contexts in which we will need to deal with such people and suggests that we should reach for a better goal than simply boiling over in confrontation or escaping a difficult person altogether.

Direct download: TAC152_Dealing_with_Difficult_People_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan is joined again by Cathy Loerzel and Rachael Clinton to further discuss our Healing the Wounded Heart online course. They particularly review the benefit of a closed Facebook group created for tribe members. The ultimate goal in creating the tribe option was to ensure that participants would not have to move through the course alone and would benefit from processing with others along the way. This added option has truly brought increased engagement with the material, and we hope very much that you can join us for our upcoming semester tribe!


This week, Dan is joined by Cathy Loerzel and Rachael Clinton. The three discuss the importance of community in the healing process and reflect upon ways in which community has benefited past “semester tribe” participants in our Healing the Wounded Heart online course. They take time to review three specific groups of people who would benefit from this kind of community experience and outline what participants gain as a result of hearing others’ stories and letting their own stories be known.

Direct download: TAC150_The_Power_of_Community-_Healing_the_Wounded_Heart_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:00am PST

This week, Dan and his wife, Becky Allender, conclude their series on Story. Dan introduces Becky’s new book, and she reads an excerpt from it, recounting a painful story of loss. Through the conversation that follows, we learn how writing our stories and sharing them with a caring community can truly transform our lives. The episode concludes with an invitation to discover the power of writing and reading our own stories.

If you feel a pull to know more about how your story, in all of its beauty and heartache, shapes and influences every dimension of your daily life and relationships, consider joining us for To Be Told. If you can’t join us in Menasha, Wisconsin, we are now offering a simulcast option in an effort to make To Be Told more accessible than ever before.

Direct download: TAC149_Story_Writing-_Revealing_What_You_Could_Not_See_Part_4_on_Story.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan and his wife, Becky Allender, continue a series on Story. They dialogue about how their own particular upbringings and life events formed distinct themes in their lives. The episode presents a challenge to us: Have we taken time to consider the themes of our own stories? And have we considered how these themes affect those around us?

Direct download: TAC148_Story_Themes-_How_Particulars_Form_Threads_Part_3_on_Story.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan and his wife, Becky Allender, think back to the way in which one of their brief interactions led not only to confusion but to a deeper sense of irritation toward each other’s stories. As they recognized and named their everyday stories, those that too often get overlooked, they were able to move past avoidance and gain understanding and empathy. The episode ends with this encouragement and challenge: we all have a choice to make in each of our relationships—to approach another’s story with a sense of irritation or with genuine intrigue. What we choose will dictate the way in which our lives intersect with others.

Direct download: TAC147_Irritation_or_Intrigue_-_You_Choose_Part_2_on_Story.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan focuses on the catastrophic nature of the flooding in Houston. How do people respond when a catastrophe like this invades their lives? How can we respond in a meaningful way to those who are experiencing catastrophe? Dan explores these questions and more as he begins a series of podcast episodes that focus on our response to difficult stories.

 

To our many friends in Houston, our hearts are with you.

Direct download: TAC146_Catastrophic_Stories_-_In_Response_to_Houston.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dan and his wife, Becky Allender, reflect on their summer experiences to glean wisdom as they prepare to move into the fall. During their conversation, they ponder some helpful questions. How should we approach transition? Why does God invite us to reinvent our plans? What have we gained from our last season that we can bring to the next?

Direct download: TAC145_Reflection_and_Transition-_A_Summer_Reprise.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender concludes his four-part conversation with Lauren Bethell of the International Christian Alliance on Prostitution. As Dan and Lauren respond to audience questions, they reflect on the nature of calling, and they talk once again about the invitation to live as people who are open to beauty.

Direct download: TAC144_Beautiful_Scars_-_A_Conversation_with_Lauren_Bethell_Part_Four.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues a four-part conversation with Lauren Bethell of the International Christian Alliance on Prostitution. As Dan and Lauren engage questions from the audience, Dan is invited to reflect on the theology of beauty, and on how our own stories of brokenness and harm become our greatest gift in sitting with the stories of others.

Direct download: TAC143_A_Conversation_with_Lauren_Bethell_Part_Three.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues a four-part conversation with Lauren Bethell of the International Christian Alliance on Prostitution. Lauren shares how the fight against sex trafficking has grown exponentially in recent years, and she and Dan talk about what it means to step into your true calling, in a way that shapes the rest of your life.

Direct download: TAC142_A_Conversation_with_Lauren_Bethell_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender launches a four-part conversation with Lauren Bethell, Coordinator and Leadership Team Chair for the International Christian Alliance on Prostitution. Lauren shares how she came to the work of advocating for women in prostitution, and she and Dan reflect on the beauty that can be found in even our deepest scars.

Direct download: TAC141_A_Conversation_with_Lauren_Bethell_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender concludes his three-part conversation with Laurie Proctor, who has completed the Training Certificate and the Externship program with The Allender Center. Dan and Laurie are joined by Emma, Laura’s 14-year-old daughter, who reflects on an experience of trauma and what it was like for her mom to respond to that experience with wisdom and care.

Direct download: TAC140_Finding_Treasure_in_the_Dirt_Part_Three.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues his conversation with Laurie Proctor and her business partner, Jean Masukevich. Laurie and Jean have both completed The Allender Center’s Training Certificate, and they talk with Dan about how that experience was part of their ongoing journey of restoration—a journey that has equipped them to step into their calling and pursue their passions in deeper, more transformative ways.

Direct download: TAC139_Finding_Treasure_in_the_Dirt_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by Laurie Proctor, who has completed the Training Certificate and Externship Program with The Allender Center, and is the co-founder of SowThat—an organization that helps others find hope and freedom in the personal and professional lives. Dan and Laurie talk about her journey with The Allender Center, and about how it sparked a new vision for what it means to live into her calling.

Direct download: TAC138_Finding_Treasure_in_the_Dirt_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues his conversation about essential oils with his long-time friend Jeanette White, Program Director at The Allender Center. Jeanette and Dan reflect on how the body responds to stress and trauma, and they share how essential oils can be a powerful tool both for the discrete, daily stresses, and for deep persistent patterns that are rooted in our memories of trauma.

Direct download: TAC137_Grief_Emotions_and_Essential_Oils_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by his long-time friend Jeanette White, Program Director at The Allender Center, to talk about the surprising and profound ways that essential oils can help in our journeys of healing and recovery. Jeanette shares about her own history of discovering essential oils, and about the ways they have helped her during a year marked by deep grief.

Direct download: TAC136_Grief_Emotions_and_Essential_Oils_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, welcome summer by talking about a long road trip they are planning. As they share their hopes and expectations for the trip, they reflect on the thrill of planning, the joy of sharing new experiences, and the importance of remembering. In all of this, Dan shares his hope that a meaningful, memorable trip will always reveal a small taste of the coming Kingdom of God.

Direct download: TAC135_Hitting_The_Road.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues his conversation with Joel Murphy, a member of the Board of Trustees at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, about the mission of The Seattle School and the long, hard journey of turning a dream into a reality. The next chapter of that journey involves selecting a new President, so in this episode Dan and Joel invite you to help us spread the word. You can learn more at theseattleschool.edu/presidential-search.

Direct download: TAC134_Training_for_a_Church_Thats_Not_Here_Yet_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by Joel Murphy, a member of the Board of Trustees at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, to talk about the mission of The Seattle School and the long, hard journey of turning a dream into a reality. Dan and Joel reflect on the importance of transformative education, and they look toward The Seattle School’s next chapter as Joel shares about leading the search for a new President.

Direct download: TAC133_Training_for_a_Church_Thats_Not_Here_Yet_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender concludes our series about the Marriage Quadrants by reflecting on core categories that he sees in strong, vibrant marriages: the presence of desire, conflict that is named and engaged well, the growth of curiosity, and commit and care that grow ever deeper over time. Dan is inviting couples to live for so much more than a nice, pleasant marriage; this is about a kingdom of God marriage. For a visual aid as you listen to Dan discussing these categories, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.

Direct download: TAC132_The_Marriage_Quadrant_Part_Six.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues our series about the Marriage Quadrants by looking at the dynamics in the fourth and final quadrant, which he describes as the most chaotic and volatile category—meaning marriages in Quadrant Four are easy to write off as hopeless. What does it look like to work with such a chaotic marriage in the hope of restoration? For a visual aid as you listen to Dan discussing these categories, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.

Direct download: TAC131_The_Marriage_Quadrants_Part_Five.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues our series about the Marriage Quadrants by looking at the dynamics in Quadrant Three. Because of the deep levels of hurt, historic vows, and broken styles of relating that can be so entrenched, Dan admits that working with marriages in this category is perhaps the most difficult. As pastors, therapists, or friends, how can we begin to advocate for healing when there is so much loneliness and contempt? For a visual aid as you listen to Dan discussing these categories, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.

Direct download: TAC130_The_Marriage_Quadrant_Part_Four.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues our series about the Marriage Quadrants by looking at the dynamics in Quadrant Two. This kind of marriage often revolves around pursuing success and keeping up appearances, but there is a world of loneliness and contempt beneath the surface. And that inner world needs to be addressed. For a visual aid as you listen to Dan discussing these categories, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.

Direct download: TAC129_The_Marriage_Quadrants_Part_Three.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues our series about the Marriage Quadrants, a theoretical framework of marriage that informs how he engages and works with couples. Dan talks about marriages in Quadrant One, which are often marked by comfort and safety but lack desire and authenticity. As pastors, therapists, and friends, what does it look like for us to engage this kind of couple—and their children—with courage and integrity? And for a visual aid as you listen to Dan discussing these categories, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.

Direct download: TAC128_The_Marriage_Quadrants_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender launches a new series exploring the theoretical framework of marriage that informs how he engages and works with couples. Dan sets the stage for this series by talking about these “Marriage Quadrants” as a system of sorting and classifying patterns and structures that are highly intricate and complex. While no sorting system is all-encompassing, Dan believes that these categories offer clarity and direction about what it looks like to engage marriages of all types. For an image laying out the quadrants Dan describes here, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.

Direct download: TAC127_The_Marriage_Quadrants_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, continue their discussion about the painful journey of grieving the death of a parent—a conversation sparked by their own experience of processing the death of Dan’s mother just a few weeks ago. Dan and Becky discuss the love, care, and support they have received from others in times of grief, inviting us to consider how we might be present in the lifes of friends or loved ones who endure significant loss.

Direct download: TAC126_Grieving_the_Death_of_a_Parent_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, talk about the painful journey of grieving the death of a parent. This conversation was sparked by their own experiences of grief after Dan’s mother passed away just a few weeks ago. Dan and Becky reflect on the intersections between grief and honor, the beauty of close, trusted others inviting us to remembrance and forgiveness, and the ways in which even this experience can point us toward the goodness of God in the land of the living.

Direct download: TAC125_Grieving_the_Death_of_a_Parent_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton, Assistant Director of Program Development & Admissions, conclude our series about the realities of spiritual warfare by talking about what it actually looks like for us to engage in warfare. A holistic understanding of spiritual warfare is about more than prayer alone, inviting us join others in community as we care for our bodies, participate in rituals, grieve deeply, wrestle with our stories, and bring our entire, embodied selves into the ongoing work of the kingdom of God.

Direct download: TAC124_Spiritual_Warfare_Part_Four.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton, Assistant Director of Program Development & Admissions, continue our series about the realities of spiritual warfare by talking about the crucial intersections between spiritual warfare and the story work that we facilitate at The Allender Center. Through deep, meaningful engagement of our stories of harm, we prepare our hearts to grapple with spiritual warfare in a way that brings kindness, compassion, and, ultimately, the freedom that can only come from God.

Direct download: TAC123_Spiritual_Warfare_Part_Three.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton, Assistant Director of Program Development & Admissions, continue our series about the realities of spiritual warfare. This is a big, complex topic, so in this episode we take a look at some of the triggers and resistance people might feel when they hear the term “spiritual warfare.” While there are valid issues and questions to consider, we believe this category is crucial to the work we do here at The Allender Center and the ongoing work of restoration.

Direct download: TAC122_Spiritual_Warfare_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by Rachael Clinton, Assistant Director of Program Development & Admissions, to launch a new series about the realities of spiritual warfare. This is a huge, complex topic, so Dan and Rachael start by laying out some of the core assumptions that guide them in this conversation. These assumptions include the belief that evil exists, that it seeks to harm us, and that we are not alone.

Direct download: TAC121_Spiritual_Warfare_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues wrestling with the category of ambivalence—particularly the ambivalence many of us feel about engaging the messy, hard work of pursuing healing and restoration for our stories of trauma and abuse. After launching our new Healing the Wounded Heart online course, we have heard many stories of ambivalence from individuals who want to pursue healing but are also aware of the cost of engaging their deepest wounds. Dan invites us to name that ambivalence, to bless it, and to ask for the help we need to begin moving toward our desires, one inch at a time.

Direct download: TAC120_Ambivalence_and_Our_Wounded_Hearts_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender wrestles with the category of ambivalence: that feeling of being stuck that comes when we find ourselves moving in two different directions without actually moving at all. We see this ambivalence whenever we launch a new offering, like the Healing the Wounded Heart online course, as people wrestle with the reality that the movement toward restoration will lead them first through stories of heartache and harm. Dan invites us to consider how we might engage that ambivalence with courage, kindness, and integrity.

Direct download: TAC119_Ambivalence_and_Our_Wounded_Hearts_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues his conversation with Jeanette White, Program Director at The Allender Center, about grief and loss in the wake of miscarriages and infertility. Dan and Jeanette are joined again by their partners, Becky Allender and Campbell White, to talk about how they have learned and grown in the years since these experiences. What we find is that, even decades and decades later, it is never too late to process our stories in the hope of healing. This is a vital and vulnerable conversation, and we are so grateful to Jeanette, Campbell, and Becky for joining Dan to share their experiences with all of us.

Direct download: TAC118_The_Grief_of_Miscarriage_Part_Four.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues the conversation with Jeanette White, Program Director here at The Allender Center, about the devastating grief and loss that comes with miscarriages and infertility. Dan and Jeanette are joined by their partners, Becky Allender and Campbell White, to talk about the pain of shared heartache in marriage. This is a vital and vulnerable conversation, and we are so grateful to Jeanette, Campbell, and Becky for joining Dan to share their experiences with all of us.

Direct download: TAC117_The_Grief_of_Miscarriage_Part_Three.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender continues a conversation with Jeanette White, Program Director here at The Allender Center, about the realities of grief and loss, particularly in the context of the devastation of miscarriages and infertility. Jeanette vulnerably shares about her war with hope and desire in the midst of such tremendous pain.

Direct download: TAC116_The_Grief_of_Miscarriage_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by Jeanette White, Program Director here at The Allender Center to talk about the realities of grief and loss, particularly in the context of the devastation of miscarriages and infertility. Jeanette shares bravely and vulnerably from her own experiences with miscarriage, and she and Dan launch a conversation that we plan to continue over the next few weeks.

Direct download: TAC115_The_Grief_of_Miscarriage_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, in honor of their 40th wedding anniversary, Dr. Dan Allender and his wife Becky reflect together on the last four decades of learning and growing as individuals and as a couple. Since part of honoring the Sabbath means marking the passage of time and celebrating significant milestones, Dan and Becky invite us to consider how we engage the past, present, and future with intentionality and care.

Direct download: TAC114_Sabbath_Part_Two_-_40_Years_of_Marriage.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender  and his wife Becky talk about the nature of Sabbath and the challenges of developing rhythms of rest and play that point us toward the coming kingdom of God. What does it look like to intentionally set aside time to tend to goodness, glory, and delight in our lives?

Direct download: TAC113_Sabbath_Part_One_A_Taste_of_the_Kingdom.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

This week, Dr. Dan Allender invites us to consider how to step into a new year with curiosity, intentionality, and faithfulness. Dan recorded this episode from a hospital waiting room on Christmas day: a difficult circumstance, but one that allows a unique perspective about what it means to ask what God has in store for us in the coming months.

Direct download: TAC112_Beginning_a_New_Year.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30am PST

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